WHEN will the Republicans take responsibility for the violence they promote?

The murder of children -- AGAIN -- is infuriating, and exhausting, and brings out the worst of American culture.

I had the unfortunate experience this morning of having to sit on a panel in Israeli Channel 14 television discussing the murder of children in their classroom in Texas by a guy with an AR-15 assault rifle that he bought with ease.

It was unfortunate not only because of the unbearable awfulness of this tragic waste of innocent lives. I mean, there are not enough words to describe the depth of this awfulness. I’m sure you know what I mean.

It was also unfortunate because it meant that, as a representative of Democrats Abroad-Israel, I had to engage on this topic with the head of Republicans Overseas in Israel, a guy who does not deserve even one second of air time for his obscenely callous opinions about guns in America.

And not only that, the moderator was a Republican. And he the sympathies of a few other panelists, if not all of them. That was the lion’s den I walked into as I was processing my own anger about this latest mass shooting.

We all know the talking points by heart. “Our thoughts and prayers”. “Second amendment rights.” “Freedom to own a gun.” Blah blah blah de blabedy blah blah.

It’s just enough to make your head explode.

What was worse for me is that I was also introduced into the right-wing Israeli version of dealing with this topic. On the plus side, most Israelis think that issues like background checks and waiting periods are a no-brainer. Nobody outside of America can understand this Republican insistence on complete freedom to buy a gun. Nobody.

Still, there is a far stretch from that kind of sympathy to actually getting the depth of Republican-American depravity on the issue of violence.

The host said to me, “I’m a Republican. But I’m on your side.”

Hmm. Interesting. I didn’t know what that meant.

I said, “You’re American?”

He said, “No, but I am very against all those leftist progressive movements around the world.”

Uh-huh. I think I get what he was saying. He hates progressives around the world, ergo he’s “Republican”. Leaving aside the larger implications of that, I said, “Well, if you’re not American, you’re not EXACTLY a Republican. America has it’s own unique brand of things. To be Republican implies a particular cultural experience.”

He said, “No, no, no. You’re just talking about a few extremists.” I was like, no, no, no.

You don’t get to dismiss all this so easily as “just a few extremists”. That is an exercise in disassociating that does not play out in reality.

The entire exchange this morning was an exercise in avoiding responsibility. Of Republicans saying, “Oh this is not ME. This is SOMEONE ELSE’s fault.” Mmm-hmmm…

I talked about how Republicans get so much money from the NRA and are more loyal to their pockets than to the lives of children. “But Ted Cruz says such nice things about Israel,” one of the panelists said. There’s that.

There was the whole “Legislation is pointless” rubbish. I pointed out that Australia, New Zealand, Scotland, and a host of other countries were able to put an end to this senseless gun terror with swift legislation. And also, by the way, Republicans are happy to rely on legislation when it comes to controlling women’s bodies. But that argument was completely lost. The Republican guy did not budge. It was absurd.

Then there was the pivot to Palestinians. One panelist said to me, “You’re all hypocrites. When it comes to Palestinians, you’re all like, ‘We have to understand them.’ And suddenly now they’re terrorists?’” The moderator loved that. He said, mockingly, “Understand the Palestinians, ppppshhhhfffffffttt.” I had a lot to say about that — starting with the fact that 20,000 people are killed EACH YEAR by home-grown white men, not by Muslim terrorists. And also, by the way, the Islamic Jihad is instructing its people to buy assault rifles in America because it’s so easy. But there were too many dog-whistles in his statement and I didn’t have the time to unpack it all. I could have said that the exchange was a classic example of callous toxic masculinity driving political discourse. And also, by the way, Israel has never even TRIED to hear Palestinian narratives so there is nothing to complain about. But I just couldn’t figure out what to focus on, and it was just all too much.

So okay, diversion from dead kids by blaming progressives and Palestinians for the REAL violence. Noted.

There was the whole issue of “a few mentally ill people”. I said, it has nothing to do with mental illness. It has to do with people who have ideas about celebrating violence. I pointed out that most of the killers are white men, and 60% have a history of violence against women. They hated that. It’s much easier to dismiss shooters as insane than to admit that they are products of the same culture that you come from. Again, distance. Disassociate. “IT WASN’T ME!!!!!!!!”

And then I tried to explain this point some more. I made the grave error of pointing out that the Republican culture is one that celebrates violence. What I WANTED to say was, look at January 6. Look at the Christmas Cards with Guns trope. And what does it even mean when people care more about their “rights to guns” than anything else? Isn’t that a celebration of violence?

But I couldn’t get past that sentence. Because my self-proclaimed Republican Israeli moderator said swiftly interrupted me with a, “WHAT????!!!! You’re calling ME VIOLENT????!!!”

I tried to explain that I never said EVERY Republican is violent. I said that the CULTURE celebrates violence. He didn’t hear it. The men around the table went ballistic. They said that they stopped listening to me because I was calling them names and isn’t that mean of me. I tried to that I’m anthropologist and I study culture and I wasn’t accusing THEM. And they all started mansplaining me that the Republicans are NOT violent and that if I say that, I lose them. “If you want us to support you, you can’t say things like that.”

Noted. If I want to be heard by Republican men, don’t say bad things about Republican culture. Gotcha.

I was being schooled by the Republicans who said that they were “on my side” but couldn’t REALLY be on my side when I say things like that.

Like, we WANT to be on your side but when you say things that we don’t like, we CANNOT be on your side so please make sure to ONLY SAY THINGS WE LIKE so that we can continue to believe the things we want without having to be challenged by some progressive-leaning Democrat who says things we don’t like.

Noted.

It is just incredible to me how many ways there are to avoid responsibility in that appalling conversation about guns and kids. Anything but the truth. Anything but the fact that Republican Senators are blocking common-sense gun legislation that would protect tens of thousands of lives because they are beholden to a culture for whom “We love our guns” is sacrosanct. And to their NRA donors who give them lots of cash.

They prefer holding on to their seats and their bank accounts than doing their jobs. It is a completely soulless political culture.

But I better not say that out loud. Because then I will lose my friends on the other side.

One day, our grandchildren or their grandchildren will be reading this chapter in history shaking their heads in utter disbelief. For the record, I want to say that some of us are shaking our heads right now in disbelief too.

I left the studio this morning and just cried. I got on my bike to try to shake it off, and spent the bike-ride crying. It’s just too hard. All of it is just too hard. Human beings have way too many rhetorical mechanisms for being callous about children’s deaths. And I have nothing left in me to figure out how to fight this. I am at a loss.

Loss.

Loss. So much loss. So much loss.