What does patriarchy look like? It's not always what you might think....

I just wrapped up my course, Jewish Feminism Reimagined. And I have some big lessons.

WOW! I just finished facilitating my course, Jewish Feminism Reimagined, and I feel like I just finished a twelve course meal of awe-inspiring ideas, passions, and creativity.

We had twelve packed sessions, 40 incredible presenters, 70 participants from six continents, and over 20 hours of thought-provoking content around some of the issues that are most important to us. I'm energized, humbled, and inspired by ​the conversations and engagement. 

Clockwise from top left: Prof Susannah Heschel, April Baskin, Elana Sztokman (me!), and Jericho Z. Vincent — the final session of the course.

For me, one of the most interesting things that emerged was that certain ideas kept repeating themselves -- in diverse contexts and from different corners of our work. Although we did not try and define feminism, for me the definition that emerged is clear: Feminism about dismantling the patriarchy, in all its forms and locations, which we are, at times, still discovering. 

Also, the patriarchy may not always look the way we expect it to look. 

We are often accustomed to discussing the external, visible, measurable aspects of patriarchy. Representation, exclusion, wage gaps, reproductive rights. But what we saw in this course is that the patriarchy often rests in unseen places, in internal biases, in personal scars, in life-long trauma. It may emerge from places that we do not expect. And these locations can sometimes be harder to dismantle than, say the lack of equal representation in government — which we can easily measure, count and see. The depth of the patriarchy it is often so unseen. And sometimes it is private. And sometimes it is hard to explain that what we are seeing and experiencing is the patriarchy resting in deep, unseen places. Unconscious bias. Subtleties of interactions. Things that can be hard to explain. 

Some of the themes that emerged from the course revolve around those often invisible battles. We have vital tools for dismantling these aspects of the patriarchy: 

• Voice. Telling our stories. As they are. In whatever format we have for the telling. Listening to other people's stories.  Making spaces for other people to tell their stories. 

• Presence. Being present, exactly as we are, in whatever forms our bodies, minds, and skin take. That in itself is a radical act against the patriarchy, which seeks to put us all into boxes, and then determine which boxes are more valuable and valued. Accepting ourselves and accepting others exactly as we all are, in that context, can be radical. 

• Desire. Allowing ourselves -- and others -- to want, and to believe that they deserve. Whether that is sexual desire, a desire for relationships, a desire for money, a desire for respect and acknowledgment, just allowing ourselves and others to want is also a powerful act of dismantling the patriarchy. 

• Knowledge. Accepting the multiple forms of knowledge and the multiple sources of knowledge. Visceral knowledge. Embodied knowledge. Cultural knowledge. The knowledge from those whose wisdom has been rendered invisible. As well as all the other forms of scholarship. Valuing them all. 

• Celebrating the diversity -- and ourselves. Letting go of patriarchal ideas about whose life is most valuable. Celebrating all human beings as human beings, with joy, pleasure, and compassion. Perhaps this is the most radical unraveling of the patriarchy of all. 

These are our tools for making the change. Because social change does not happen in a ​vacuum. External indicators such as wage gaps paint a portrait. But the work of real change requires digging deeper and finding out where the roots of the patriarchy lay in our social and cultural systems. And all this requires work of immense creativity, a fierce dedication to fighting for justice, and the willingness to work on the hard work of healing -- personal and communal healing. 

So those are some of my own take-aways. That is not to suggest that this is without challenges. Many big challenges remain.

• What are the outer limits of feminist thought?

• What do we do with our own internal tensions, such as tensions around issues of prostitution or surrogacy?

• And perhaps most difficult: What do we do about the fact that our entire culture seems to be steeped in patriarchy? That our paths towards justice and social change seem to march through some of the most difficult locations of patriarchal history?

As Audre Lourde said, “The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.” That is a big challenge.

I elaborate on these ideas, as well as the challenges involved, in a video clip I created reflecting on this course. You can watch my reflections video here.

If you would like to take the course, by the way, the course is still available here.

And feel free to chat with me one-on-one any time. One of my favorite things in the world is chatting with people one-on-one about these issues, how we are all grappling with the challenges and traumas of the patriarchy -- and how we can support each other in our work to make the world better for all of us. 

So write to me any time -- elana@jewfem.com. And if you have a thought about courses that you would like us to offer at Jewish Feminist Academy, please share! If you would like to partner on creating a course, reach out to me. I'm eager to hear from you. 

Be well, and keep fighting the fight!

Best, 
Elana
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