What do Jay-Z, Bibi, and Kavanaugh have in common?

It sounds like the start of a joke. I wish it were.

L to R, Jay Z, Bibi Netanyahu, and Brett Kavanaugh

A disturbing bit of news this week (not THAT one, a different one):

Jay-Z is being sued by one of the (alleged) sexual assault victims of Sean Combs aka P Diddy. The victim, known as Jane Doe, was 13 years old when she was (allegedly) raped by Combs at one of his infamous “parties”. And she claims that two other people, until now known only as Celebrity A and Celebrity B, were also in the room at the time. In this new lawsuit, “Celebrity A” is actually Jay Z aka Shawn Carter aka Beyoncé’s husband and that he and Combs took turns raping her.

And also, Celebrity B is a woman. Who watched the whole time.

This story is disturbing for many reasons. (Not the least of which is that I am a huge Beyoncé fangirl and if it turns out that she is Celebrity B, I may have to make some serious changes in my life.)

We already know that dozens of victims (alleged victims) if not more have already come forward and are filing lawsuits while Diddy sits in federal custody on charges of sex trafficking, among other things. The fact that he was able to get away with this abuse for decades in front of so many famous people is very upsetting, and a sign of how acceptable sexual abuse is. (For a proper explanation of this, see last week’s must-read post by the brilliant Kate Manne about the horrific French case of Dominique Pelicot, who trafficked his wife for decades, enabling 72 men to rape her after he had drugged her unconscious.)

Dominque Pelicot at his trial, in a sketch by the court reporter, showing him visibly irritated behind glass and his lawyer motioning to contain him.

That whole dynamic of high-profile abusers being supported by their high-profile buddies is part of the patriarchal network that systematically keeps bad guys in power. (Exhibition A: Pussy-grabber in the White House.)

Trump, furiously clenching his teeth and raising is fisted finger, against the backdrop of what looks like the White House press room blue curtain.

I’ve written about this dynamic a lot, and My book When Rabbis Abuse takes a long, hard look at these dynamics. Still, it’s shocking to see — each and every time — even if we know this to be true.

The other disturbing part of this developing story is also familiar, and seems to be getting increasingly popular. And that has to do with Jay-Z’s reactions to the lawsuit. Instead of responding with seriousness and empathy for the victim, he chose a different path. In a word, he was INDIGNANT.

He began yelling and screaming and going on the attack. Who was he attacking exactly? Lawyers, media, whatever. Most notably, the victim.

He is accusing the victim of making this up in order to blackmail him. His anger came out in a furious spurt of verbal dribble.

Does this sound familiar?

***

Before we turn back the dial to 2018 Senate confirmation hearings, I want to share one more ditty from this week. (Not Diddy, ditty.)

In another news item, Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu is testifying in his years-long corruption trial. He tried his best to put this off, even using whatever corrupt tools at his disposal to avoid being held accountable for his actions. (Did I mention he is being charged with corruption?). But his past is finally catching up with him.

Anyhow, how did the prime minister respond to being on trial for corruption? Is he showing any kind of sympathy for the people who have to put up with his shenanigans? Any kind of remorse? Somberness? A seriousness reflecting this moment?

Of course not.

He did what other ungreat men have done before him. He went on the attack. He angrily called the entire system “simply ridiculous”.

Noticing a pattern here?

***

Right. So all of this takes us back to Brett Kavanaugh and the way he responded to being accused of attempted rape. Which was, he went on an angry rampage — attacking the Senators questioning him, attacking the system, and of course attacking his victim. (I’m not writing “alleged”. Sue me.)

For victims of sexual assault, and women generally, it was an awful moment. Not only because a sexual predator was about to be confirmed to one of the most powerful positions in the world. But also because he was using those same tactics of force and quashing others to get his way.

And, yeah, also that he won and got the job.

So, you know, I guess other bad guys were watching and taking notes. “So THAT’S how he does it!” Kind of thing.

I guess it works. I guess you CAN respond to being shown your awful, abusive history by being even more awful and abusive. Hmm! Who knew?

(And again I refer you to Exhibition A, the Pussy-Grabber in Chief AGAIN on his SECOND round of winning….)

By the way, women don’t have the luxury of behaving this way, ever. Much has been written about the contrast between Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s exceptional intelligence, balance, and calmness during these events and those of the “entitled” man applying for this big job. And how she had to run for her life for daring to talk about this, while Kavanaugh reaped huge rewards for his awfulness.

Despite all this, he won. And toxic masculinity is still winning.

***

Western culture is experiencing quite a low point. It’s not just that sexual abuse, sexism, and violence is rampant. It’s that these terrible dynamics are being protected and supported by toxic interpersonal exchanges.

Abuse is winning. Toxic masculinity is winning.

And it looks like bad guys are learning even more toxic tactics from those who have won and received massive cultural platforms along the way.

And also, by the way, toxicity seems to be receiving the support of legal systems as well.

That’s where the world is. Goodbye 2024.

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