Losing my religion

As Israel fails in its meager attempts to end the starvation in Gaza, I am heartbroken not only for the suffering of the people of Gaza, but also for the death of the Jewish soul.

If you want to understand a bit more about the massive failure of food distribution in Gaza, watch this video by Patrick Kingsley at NYT.

A few take-aways:

(1) Gaza has lost all capacity for producing food. All modes of food production have been destroyed by Israel. Making Gaza entirely dependent on food from the outside.

(2) Israel has taken over the process from NGOs and other external entities.

(3) Israel's system for food distribution is immensely less efficient -- from 400 distribution centers, they took it down to a total of four, three in the south and one in the north

(4) Gazans often have to walk miles to get food

(5) The walk often is through army-controlled areas

(6) There is only one distribution center in all of the north, forcing northerners to travel extensive lengths — starving, homeless people, traveling miles for a box of food.

(7) This system raises massive questions about Israel's larger agendas regarding Gaza. What is Israel doing here, and why?

(8) It seems to be part of the strategy of emptying out the north of Gazans completely -- a strategy that looks like it's part of Israel's goal to Judaize the north entirely. "settle"? or "resettle"? What exactly?

I want to add some more thoughts and questions:

How did we get here? How did Israel get to a point of complete and utter control of food for an entire people? What makes the Israeli government even think that this is their right? Even taking into account Oct 7 and the hostages, none of that justifies THIS. None of this will do ANYTHING to bring back hostages or make anyone safer. This has NOTHING to do with somehow preventing another war. It is ENTIRELY about punishing 2.2 million people and utterly destroying their lives and then controlling where and how they will live, with hopes that whoever is not dead or gone will squash into a few tent areas under complete Israeli control. That is what this is. And wow it is just so wrong. All wrong. By every possible measure.

And one more thing:

Like many other Jews, I cringe when people use the word "colonialism" to describe Israel's treatment of Palestinians. I think to myself, Israel is not the British Empire. I think to myself, in 1948, Jews were a devastated and scattered people who had just lost a third of its members in the most horrid ways. How can anyone look at the Jews and the Jewish state as colonializers? It can't be, right?

But then there's stuff like this.

THIS right here is exactly what colonialism looks like. What Israel is doing, dishing out little bits of food to people who are helpless and dependent and homeless and in dire straits and with no other options -- this is colonialism. And worse. It's one powerful nation using all its military, economic, and political might to completely control and weaken and devastate another people. To control their movements, their economy, their homes, their food, and ultimately their lives. And OH MY GOD how we are controlling their very lives. We are COMPLETELY in control and Gazans have ZERO control.

If this isn't a colonial relationship, I don't know what is.

And so here I am, once again, facing the horrible truth about what my people are becoming. Facing the unbearable reality that the people I was once so proud to be part of, the nation that I dedicated my entire life to serving and protecting -- raising my family in Israel, making a career out of Jewish education and activism, practicing the religion even when I had so many doubts about so much -- this people that I was raised in and have believed in for 50 years and devoted my life to, is in reality not what I think it is. It is nothing like the idealized version. It is so far from what we like to tell the world that we are. The whole righteous image is wrong.

Has it always been wrong? Have I deceived myself my whole life? Or are we just now in a process of utterly destroying whatever moral core we once had? I don't know the answer to that extraordinarily painful question. All I know is that this war has shattered not only the lives of 2.2 million Gazans (and also 3 million Palestinians in the West Bank in different ways), but it has ALSO shattered all semblance of a Jewish ethical core. We have lost all ability to make the case that we are a moral nation. The Netanyahu government and all its supporters have destroyed our Jewish soul. And has taken us all along for the ride.

Heartbroken. I'm heartbroken about all of it. Deeply, irreparably heartbroken.

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