Is Israel finally having its #Metoo moment?
With the arrest of sexual predator Guy Rofe, indictment of the teenage rapist from the "good school", and outrage over Chaim Walder, maybe the needle is finally starting to shift. (TW Sexual abuse)
[TW: Sexual abuse and retraumatization]
No fewer than 20 women came forward to describe sexual abuse by gynecologist Guy Rofe before anyone in the police department took notice. Women described his sexual propositions during exams, his urging of women to disrobe or sit on his lap, unwanted gropes and penetration, and rape. But it took a long time to break that down. This Guy has crafted a social media reputation as the know-everything savior of women, with tens of thousands of IG followers, and that whole “charmer” persona going on. He was protected in ways that are unfathomable. In fact, one of his victims said that after she ran out of his office crying, one of his staffers came chasing after her with the message of: “Don’t report this, please, because we don’t want to lose such a great doctor.” Yeah. That happened. AND, that same staffer called her again after this Guy DID in fact lose his hospital job years later, wondering if she was the one who finally reported him. (It wasn’t her.)
Guy Rofe. This is what a rapist looks like
It is incredible to me how long this Guy was keeping up his abuse even after so many people knew about him. And he’s not alone — the Hebrew Facebook group called, “Warnings about gynecologists” has 20,000 very active followers. Yet, it was only in the past 2-3 weeks that the media paid any attention to Guy or any of the other sexually predative gynecologists.
In one segment on Ynet, the anchor Attila Somfalvi. was interviewing the moderator of the Facebook group and asked, “How long has your group been around?”
“Five years.”
“Five years? I don’t understand.”
“Five years, yes. We have been talking about Guy Rofe and dozens of others like him for five years.”
“And we’re just hearing about this now?” he asked.
Maybe, Attila, you just haven’t been paying attention until now.
Still, the astonishing thing about this story was that even AFTER all of these stories were publicly aired, even AFTER Atilla picked his chin up off the floor, the big news on Sunday was that Guy announced that he would be stopping his practice.
HE announced that he was stopping. Nobody else was forcing him to stop or holding him accountable. It was such a surreal announcement.
On Monday, however, Guy was arrested. Several women officially complained to the police. So now, finally, maybe he will be held accountable.
Maybe Attila and the Israeli media are finally noticing how much they have been ignoring victims, especially women, and giving platforms to abusers. Maybe the police are also noticing how much they look way.
I can’t help but wonder…. is Israel finally going to have a real #MeToo moment? Are things changing?
We’ve been asking about this since the Chaim Walder story broke, too. Are cultures in Israel and the Jewish world when it comes to sexual abuse changing? Are people now believing victims more easily? It only took 20 victims to come forward before someone took notice of the doctor Guy….. But now they are, so, I don’t know. Maybe.
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Another very upsetting story about rape that is making the news in Israel is about the teenage boy from the “good school” who is accused of sexually assaulting several of his classmates. This week he was charged with several counts of rape.
The accused was brought in to the police station for the awful practice that the police use called the “confrontation”, in which the accused sits in a room with the accusers and they “talk” or whatever. It’s one of the most traumatic things a victim can go through, but this is the Israeli police’s way of testing whether the victim is lying. The accused said it was “consensual” but the victims held firm. One said, “No way, I never consented. It was rape.” Like that. As a result, the kid is being charged with rape.
There are several key issues that this case raises.
Sexual assault in schools
One issue is the sheer number of cases of sexual assault in schools, most of which do NOT make the news.
The Ministry of Education received 4,652 complaints about sexual offenses in schools in 2020 alone — an increase of 24% since the previous year. (And that was the Corona year, remember, with a lot of lockdowns.) Yes, during Corona, sexual abuse in schools skyrocketed.
Moreover, an estimated two thirds of those cases were assaults conducted by minors. Most offenders in schools are kids. Wrap your head around that for a moment.
In 46% of the cases, the victim and assailant were in the same school.
In 22% of the cases, there was more than one victim.
At least 163 of the cases were classified as rape.
And it cuts across all sectors. Some 67% of reports came from state schools, 23% came from religious school, and 10% came from Arab schools.
No reports came from Haredi schools. Wanna know why? Because haredi schools do not have a reporting mechanism.
This is huge, and it’s everywhere, and it’s about kids learning to be sexual offenders.
The silence around all this
Another take-away from this story is how little this is talked about. The only reason this particular story made the news it’s because it’s a so-called “good school” and a kid from a “good family”. Whatever that means. What that suggests is that this was only shocking because our society is accustomed to dismissing the other 4000 cases of sexual abuse in schools with a flick of the hand and a kind of, “What do you expect in that kind of school with that kind of family?”
In fact, the accused 15-year-old rapist had transferred schools because he was previously accused if rape in his old school. Instead of reporting, they moved him around. Like a checker piece.
This case, then, and the public pressure around it — including students protesting in Rabin Square in support of the victim — has the potential to break open stereotypes.
Yes, sexual abuse happens everywhere.
Yes, even people who look like “good” people can do terrible things.
Yes, it’s still rape even if the rapist is a teenager.
And yes, it is still for the most part being covered up. This kid got away with it in one school and when he was transferred without consequence, took that to be a green-light for continuing his actions.
Connections between sexual abuse in society and sexual abuse in schools
Finally, the big question for me is how cultures of sexual abuse between teenagers in school are connected to cultures of sexual abuse that surround us. If we are living in a world in which famous authors can be abuseres, in which teachers can be abusers, in which actors and celebrities can be abusers, in which big-shot doctors can be abusers — well, are we surprised that some kids are learning that this kind of behavior is the norm?
When we are looking at a 15-year-old kid who is suspected of rape — and the 4000 other cases of sexual abuse in school — we have to dig deep and look at our own selves, at our cultures. If kids are doing this, they learned it from adults. From us. WE are the ones who sent the message that this behavior is normal.
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I had read about the school rape in passing and assumed it was a "bad" school for problem kids. After all these years doing this work, I still need to check my assumptions and stereotypes.